Life Is a Highway

Teri and I had a lot of fun at the Rascal Flatts concert on Thursday night. It was the perfect first Rascal Flatts concert for me, because it was a “greatest hits” tour.

The night started with dinner from mine and Teri’s favorite fast food place, Carl’s Jr. We went to one in Murray, which had the slowest drive-up line of all time. I got my $6 burger eventually, though, so it was all good. (Sidenote: remember when the point of the $6 burger was that it was the quality of a restaurant burger without the actual $6 price tag? Now that they cost that much, shouldn’t they change the name?)

We proceeded to the Energy Solutions Arena, and we found a GREAT parking lot less than a block away that only cost $5. Since it was passed the Arena, I think most people didn’t know about it.

We walked across the street to the Arena, and there were TONS of people gathered outside. Two country radio stations were blasting out crappy music (Rascal and Lonestar are about the only country I like) and having contests. I dared Teri to walk up to them and say “This is Larry H. Miller’s viewing, right?” but she wouldn’t. CHICKEN!

We made our way inside and found our seats, which were pretty decent, and they were on an aisle, which is great for leg room, and for making sure you don’t have anyone weird next to you. Unless you’re not the person right on the aisle. Hehe. Poor Teri was stuck next to some girl and her boyfriend, and neither one of them had any concept of personal space or how to behave in public. The girl kept crowding Teri, and she would take her jacket on and off and lean on Teri every time she did. They walked over us probably 10 times over the night, and every time, the guy (who was little and scrawny, and DWARFED by his girlfriend) would say “Sorry, bro. Last time, I swear.” They REEKED of cigarette smoke, and every time they walked by, I longed for a can of Febreeze (vanilla scent, maybe). The girl’s hair looked like some kind of abstract painting that is best viewed while on drugs. During the concert, they actually started making out. I almost got a picture of it, but decided that was almost as rude as they were, so I refrained. I DID get this picture of her butt, though, just for blog’s sake. You can kind of see the guy behind her, wearing his Michael Vick jersey. KLASSY!

Don’t give all of your sympathy to Teri, though. There were two HUGE women in front of me. You know that smell when morbidly obese people get bacteria between their rolls, and they don’t clean it out very well? Imagine two people who smell like that, crammed into small seats at the hot Arena, sitting right in front of you. Now imagine that every time they shift in their seats, the smell gets kicked up (this also includes when they start waving their fists in the air and yelling “Rascal Flatts”). Also, imagine that when one gets up to go somewhere, she leans over you as she tries to steady herself going up the steps, and you get her armpit right in your face. Teri had Smokey the Bear, but I had his cousins Stinky and Stanky.

Before the concert, they had some company that was sponsoring a contest to get backstage passes to meet the band. All you had to do was text a message to a certain number, and then it would be displayed on huge screens at the arena. I sent 4 messages over and over, and 3 made it up to the screen multiple times. The first message didn’t get up there once. I thought it was the funniest one. The one that made it up the most was “I totally kick booty on Me and My Gang on Guitar Hero!” (which got several chuckles when it went up the first time) followed by “I taught my little youth theatre kids Life Is a Highway and they LOVED singing and dancing to it. Such a blast!” The other one that made it up was stupid, and the original message was about how I’d stolen my date from a guy named Jared. (Teri’s coworkers were teasing her about her “date” with me that night, and her boss referred to me as “Jared.”)

The opening act was Jessica Simpson. Remember almost 10 years ago when I had a major crush on her? And then she married Nick Lachey, and we all found out how dumb she was? I wish I had seen her 10 years ago, but not this week. Her country music sucks. And it’s mostly a bastardized hybrid of country and Christian. She was wearing ridiculously short Daisy Dukes (ha!), probably in an effort to prove she’s not fat after the “mom jeans” scandal. However, if you’re trying to prove that you’re not fat, you should probably not wear a top that is so big it could have fit one of the ladies in front of me. She looked like she was trying to hide a pregnancy or something. Tent on top, miniscule cutoffs on bottom. Weird.

Rascal Flatts was awesome. They talked a little too much for my taste, and a lot of their jokes were stupid (ie, Jay’s rant about rednecks in Utah), but I loved their performance. My biggest pet peeve about their set was that they found a way to work either “Utah” or “Salt Lake” into almost every single one of their songs. I hate it when artists do that. Do I really need a reminder of where I am? It does not give me a thrill to hear you say my home state or capital when you’re singing for me. Just sing the original lyrics – unless you’re Jessica Simpson, and you forget the original lyrics….that you wrote…

Overall, the concert was not the best one I’ve ever attended, but it was definitely not the worst, either. One of the funniest things was how Teri and I are so NOT part of the core audience of Rascal Flatts. I described us to Stephanie as “A teacher and his off-duty lunchlady sidekick in a sea of white trash.”

This year may even top 2007 as my best year for concerts, and Rascal Flatts started it out well. Up next, Mat Kearney & Keane, followed by…KELLY CLARKSON!!!

These Days

I was thinking the other day about how all I ever blog about anymore is student teaching. This could lead one to get the impression that I don't have a life outside of student teaching. That impression would be correct.

I have done a LITTLE bit outside of student teaching in the last month and a half. Let's see how much I can remember:

I went on a trip to St. George and Las Vegas with my family in January. My brother-in-law, Mike, and my nephew, Braden, were running in the St. George half-marathon, so we went to support them. Then we went down to Sin City for a couple days. Everybody seemed to get along pretty well, and I bought some cool new hats (my family seems to think that the best part of vacation is shopping), and lots of new "teacher" clothes. I'm getting a sweater vest collection that would cause Chandler Bing to be jealous.

I had a birthday (in St. George, actually). I feel really old. I got some great presents, though. And my sister's family broke into our hotel room (okay, so maybe they got a key from the front desk, no questions asked - CREEPY) and decorated it all out in birthday balloons and streamers.

Chess came and went, and it was incredible. We got a LOT of positive feedback, and some nasty feedback as well. I can't remember being more proud of a show, and I went as much as I could. I'm having major withdrawals now. Dave Tinney told me to call my sponsor and get them to help me through it, and recommended repeating "Chess is not stronger than I am." It's hard, though! I loved that show.

I've been playing the acting role of a lifetime. Not really, but it's kind of fun. In December, part of my stake presidency approached me and asked me to help with ward conferences this year. They're going around to each ward and giving a presentation on Alma 30 to each group of young men/women. They wanted someone to act as Korihor and someone to act as Alma to reenact the classic battle of words. It's kind of creepy when a member of your stake presidency tells you that you'd "make a good Korihor." Being the slave of duty that I am, I agreed to do it. I helped them with the concept (they originally wanted period costumes, among other weird ideas) and I helped pick the Alma. I've been going to the different wards, and it goes something like this:

• Member of stake presidency starts talking about Church-related things
• I start laughing in the back of the room
• People start getting uncomfortable, unsure of who I am
• SP member asks if I have a problem
• I say I do, stand up, and take the floor from him
• I totally attack the Church and many beliefs of the Church, comparing Korihor's arguments to modern-day issues
  
• Kids are caught off-guard, but gradually catch on
• Some of the adults FLIP and are about ready to leap out of their chairs and give me a piece of their collective mind
• Alma argues with me
• I demand a sign that God exists
• SP member steps up and saves me before it gets TOO heated

Fun, eh? Apparently, I'm not doing to bad. Some of the people have really freaked out. One girl said that I "scared the crap out of" her. One lady had to hold down her friend, because the friend freaked out and was ready to claw my eyes out. Playing an anti-Christ is fun! (Mostly.)

I've also been doing a lot of relaxing lately. By the time I've taught school 5 days in a row, with piano lessons or youth theatre afterward every day, I'm spent. My Saturdays are full of working and teaching piano, too. Fridays and Saturdays I've been too exhausted to even leave the house very much. This is good, though. I'm getting to bed earlier than usual some nights, and I'm catching up on my Blu-Ray collection.

Another "relaxing" thing I've started doing is watching Lost from the beginning. It's been 3 years since I've seen the first 2 seasons, and now that it's giving out answers and recalling previous information all the time, I thought it was a good idea. So, I introduced my sister, Emily, my niece, Kaylee, and my nephews Braden and Jason to the show. They're hooked already. We're going a weekly Lost night, and if people don't keep up due to silly things like Academy Awards, they have to catch up on their own time with the Internet. I forgot how amazing Lost was right from the get-go. However, it's a little frustrating to patiently wait for certain storylines and characters to come into the picture. Not gonna lie- I miss my Juliet.

I'm now harboring not one, but TWO internet crushes. Ugh. It's a disgusting double-standard. I'm totally opposed to meeting people over the Internet and hooking up with them in reality, but if you've met a girl in person, it's TOTALLY okay to secretly pine after her by reading her blog and/or Facebook page. It's also okay to have conversations with her online on a regular basis. Just not if you don't know her in person. Judge me all you want, but at least I know these two girls aren't really hairy, middle-aged men who have a thing for artsy, nerdy guys in their 20s. Now if I could just find time (without cutting into my relaxing or Lost time) to actually ask them out in person... *sigh* It will happen, though. The next time I see one, I'm totally going for it.

That's about it. I guess I really haven't been doing THAT much other than student teaching. At least teaching hasn't TOTALLY consumed my life yet, though.

Oh, one more thing - this blog post's namesake. This Thursday, Teri and I are going to Rascal Flatts. Some people have questioned if Teri is dragging me there. However, it's time for me to come clean. I freaking love Rascal Flatts. In fact, I'M dragging Teri there. Our seats aren't the best, but I don't care. I haven't been to a good concert in a while (Hello, Fray! Time to stop touring Australasia and get your butts back here), and concerts are always best when you're surrounded by drunk cowboys.