Showing posts with label Phone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Phone. Show all posts

Monday, May 9, 2011

Here’s a Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares

I’m getting really sick of phones. Not phones themselves, because there are some pretty nifty phones out there nowadays. Not mine, of course. I hate my own phone. It’s crappy and butt-dials people a lot.

What I really mean to say is that I’m getting really sick of people’s phone habits.

If you know me well, you know that I’m not a big fan of talking on the phone. I would much rather text, communicate online, or heaven forbid- talk in person.

Lately, though, my dislike of phone habits has gotten more along the lines of disgust.

I’ve blogged about this topic before (see here), but it only seems to be getting worse.

The worst offenders seem to be the members of my ward. We all know I hate my ward, but many of the people in it are apparently unfamiliar with voicemail. I’ll miss a call from someone, Google the number, find it’s someone in my ward, and then figure “if they really wanted to talk to me, they would have left a message.” Then they call again. And again. And again. Two weeks ago, somebody from my ward needed something and called no less than 4 times before finally leaving a message. Almost every time he/she called, I was in the middle of a rehearsal or a performance.

My other major phone peeve lately is the fact that people don’t respect private time. I grew up in a house where we didn’t call anyone after 9 PM, unless we KNEW it was someone who would be up and wouldn't mind. We also didn’t call anyone before 9 in the morning, unless it was an emergency. I feel like that’s a pretty generous rule. 9-9: 12 hours to focus on rest. I usually try to follow that, except in the case of family & friends who I know I can call until 10 or so.

We don’t have a landline, so Lauren and I leave our phones on all night in case of emergency. Since we got married, I haven’t gotten one single emergency late night call. I have, however, received countless late night chatty calls, early morning phone calls, late night texts, and texts WELL before 9 AM.

A few weeks ago, somebody from my ward needed me to help with something on a Sunday, so he/she called me on a Saturday night after 10 PM. I was in a play and didn’t get the message (surprise! They actually utilized voicemail) until even later, so I didn’t return the call. The next morning, he/she called back at 8 AM. I wasn’t pleased.

In the last week alone, I’ve gotten at least 1 non-essential text before 9 AM on more days than not.

If it keeps up, I’m going to have to start turning my phone off at night. Which stinks, because I know that the second I do, one of my nieces or nephews is going to get into a scuffle with a werewolf, vampire, or zombie, and I’ll be the only one in my family who knows what to do. And since my phone will be off, I won’t be there to help, and my family will become a real life Twilight. Gag.

If you think that this is a passive/aggressive attack on you, it probably is. At least, it’s best to assume so, because then you’ll stay off my poop list. I’ve been pretty positive on my blog lately, and I don’t want to get back into the habit of being so negative all the time, so DON’T MAKE ME.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Sabbath Poetry

Megan and Aja were in town last week, and the haiku commenced. I promised Megan I'd post these, but there are A LOT, and I haven't had time to post them until now. Technically, I should be working on my portfolio for student teaching, so I don't REALLY have time to post them now, either, but I DON'T CARE. And I stand by my claim that writing haiku in church is okay, as long as there are occasional references to what you're hearing from speakers/teachers.

***

Megan's big problem
Involves love of nicotine.
Darn jitters! Go 'way!

Aja shakes her head
People try to be funny
Sacrament meeting

Christmas came and went
Teri gave me a Batman
In Build-a-Bear form

Remember the part
The guy decapitated
Up and tried to walk?

Taryn is jealous
Of my friendship with Wall-E
He's such a cute 'bot!

Hark! Herald angels
Are singing about Jesus
And not the weather

My nose needs blowing
I feel all stuffy and gross
Snot is not my friend

Remember Holly?
I don't think I do, although
If she'd freaking call...

Remember Heidi?
I think of her whenever
I see a cupcake

Please don't judge me, jerk!
I'm just as good as you are.
Get out of my face!

President Monson
Likes to quote from Music Man
Good thing it's not Hair!

Frosted styrofoam
Would prob'ly taste really good
On a Fast Sunday

Sacrament haiku
I'll probably got to Hell
Just for writing them

Sometimes closing hymns
Are sung in British accents
That makes them the best

Meryl Streep as a nun
Is really quite convincing
And a bit scary

If good comes from God
And evil's from the devil,
Where do I come from?

Sometimes I'm afraid
My phone is going to kill me
Stop talking to me!

Don't blame media
For all of the world's problems
Blame my possessed phone!

If I were a ghost
I would haunt you all the time
Except on Fridays

J'adore le Noel
J'adore donner les cadeaux
Comme l'enfant Jesus

(If you speak French, don't point out that I made mistakes in that. I know it. Cut me some slack, d'accord?!)

My watch is missing
It makes Sunday School so slow
Give me the time, man!

I'm Jeremy's phone
I want in on haiku, too!
The world will be mine!

Jeremy is dead
Address all words to Moto
I'm taking his calls

I am not dead yet
Hurry, someone stop the phone!
Call an exorcist!

Don't listen to him
No exorcism today
Instead, eat ice cream!

Now I want ice cream
If it wasn't the Sabbath
I'd got to Cold Stone

***

You're probably shaking your head at how dorky I am right now, and you know what? I DON'T CARE! HA! Let's see you come up with a better way to stay awake in church.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Blargh!

This may make absolutely no sense. It's another really tired/stream of consciousness post.

Sometimes, I think I'm really clever and post a year in review blog, and then find out that Chris Clark beat me to the punch. And now it looks like I stole his idea, and I'm one of the many other groupies that do everything to be just like him. At least I know that I started writing mine last week in Word, and if anyone questions me, I have the file to prove it.

I'm watching Run, Fatboy, Run and I'm pleasantly surprised. I think that's what happens when I have really low expectations. Also, Simon Pegg is one funny man. Because of him, I might actually see the new Star Trek. I'd see it for J.J. Abrams, but I'm still angry at him over Fringe.

For Christmas, Teri gave me a gift card to Build-a-Bear and a Batman costume for a bear. Today, we went to build my bear. His name is Bruce, and he growls like a tiger. You may think that a tiger growl coming out of a panda bear is a little ridiculous, but it's really no more ridiculous than Christian Bale's Batman voice.

I really like my new phone. Especially the camera part. It takes AWESOME pictures. It drains the battery to take such awesome pictures, though. I don't like that part so much.

I sure do like How I Met Your Mother. I think it was Entertainment Weekly that I was reading where a critic said that it was as good as Friends. I don't agree, and I think he was just saying that because it was a cool thing to say. However, I rather enjoy that show. And I may or may not have a small crush on Cobie Smulders. Mostly when she's dressed as Robin Sparkles, though. Speaking of Robin Sparkles, I introduced Bristol to "Let's Go To the Mall" today. He rather enjoyed it, so I promised him we could watch the music video the next time he comes over.

My nephew Traven is a crazy dancer. I was at his house for a minute the other night, and his dad put on Little Einsteins, which is apparently like American Bandstand for toddlers. He was freaking out like Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt in Girls Just Want to Have Fun. And his dance moves are getting quite advanced. He was doing a kind of pelvic thrust while his left hand was waving up and down, and his right hand was turning in the air like he was lassooing. I bet he can dance better than any other 1 year old, and if I were his parent, I'd totally be pimping that on some kind of reality show.

I have a huge internet crush right now. It's not like a creepy one, like where I have to worry that she's really a 50 year old man named Harold or anything. I've spent time with her in person, and while I thought she was cute and fun, it's her web persona that really gets me. It's kind of Shop Around the Cornerish. Except instead of letters, we use the internet. Someone should make a movie about that. And Edith Bunker can be her cute old surrogate mother.

Do people with other accents dislike their native accent as much as I do? I hate the way people in Utah talk. HATE.

The seafood enchilada I had for dinner made a big deal on the menu about how it had "real" crab meat. This leads me to be suspicious that it was not, in fact, "real". Also, the fact that I keep burping up the taste of pollock. That's pretty much strike three against that restaurant. I highly DON'T recommend Mi Ranchito on State Street in Sandy.

I finally found a copy of Lemony Snicket's A Lump of Coal today. I'm going to read it before bed. I actually found a few of them, so Teri bought one, too. Had I just found one, I would have kept it for myself. I'm very selfish that way.

I really want to go see The Spirit again. If I get time to see the other movies I wanted to see this week, I just might. Wanna come?

Friday, October 31, 2008

Textual Healing

Sometimes I get texts that either make me laugh really hard, get really angry, or just make me want to reach right out and hug the person who sent them to me. When this happens, I save them, and then when I'm bored, I'll go through and read them. I used to just save memorable texts on my phone, but when I replaced my phone last year, I lost some that I had been saving for as long as three years (including the one where a girl told me that she couldn't come to Bye Bye Birdie rehearsal because she was going to the ER to have a mole checked - after she went to the rodeo).

So, just to be safe, I'm saving some on my blog. Also, I'm posting some of the best responses I've gotten from ChaCha, since I've become addicted to it in the last couple weeks. Sidenote: there are other texts I have saved, but they're too personal to post on a blog. Or I've already done them in the course of a vent. :)


From Trash Ball, in response to my question of whether or not she'd be uncomfortable eating at Hooters: "As long as it won't be awkward for me, a girl, to ask the waitress for something like grilled chicken breast but hold the chicken"

From Trash again, this time in response to me teasing her that some guy was her boyfriend: "I'm keeping my options open. I mean, my tryst in Scotland has made me realize I can't just settle down, you know."

From an anonymous girl who I may or may not have dated recently: "I'm late. ( sorry."
(EEEK!)

From Dave Tinney, in response to my telling him that I had hopefully solved a problem: "That's why you are Jeremy Showgren."


And now.....CHACHA!

Me: Where do babies come from? Because my mom won't tell me.
ChaCha: Babies are made from sperm and egg cells, supplied by your father and mother. Then, a baby grows in the mother for 9 months

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
ChaCha: Chickens in the U.S. have recently been spotted crossing the road to find a cheaper gas station. Go figure.

Me: If I met Sarah Palin, would she be my new BFF?
ChaCha: ChaCha Crystal Ball says: Signs point to yes.

Me: What will the Great Pumpkin bring me this year?
ChaCha: Lots and lots of goodies! But only if you've been very good!

Me: Is Amanda Bakly secretly in love with me?
ChaCha: Is this person "accidentally" running into you in places where he or she knows you will be? If so, he or she may like you!

Me: If he buys me the lobster, do I have to put out?
ChaCha: You never have to put out, no matter what someone gives you or expects from you. It is a completely personal choice. ChaCha on!

Me: Who is Jeremy Showgren?
ChaCha: Jeremy D. Showgren works in theater. Since 2004 he has worked for Center Stage Youth Performers.

Me: How can I make Jodie Foster love me?
ChaCha: Jodie Foster is a lesbian, so your best bet is to be female. Besides that, she seems to like movie/tv producers.

Me: Is it wrong to fantasize about Michael Moore?
ChaCha: While Michael Moore may not be conventionally sexy, it's okay to fantasize about anything and everything! He's strong and smart!

Me: Would you still be my friend if I was a Scientologist?
ChaCha: Yes, we would have an instant relationship if you were a Scientologist.

(While sitting in the audience of Comedy Sportz, as the show was starting)
Me: What are some good ideas for an audience member to shout out at an improv show?
ChaCha: Anyone is free to shout out an improv show. You could suggest themes like bananas, hippies, or IBC Cream Soda!
(We used hippies, and it resulted in a sketch that got two players AND Mitch brown bagged.)

(Shortly after Mitch got brown bagged)
Me: Who is Mitch Hall?
ChaCha: Mitch Hall is a radical vegan, ecofeminist, nonviolent, anarchist writer and sociologist.

Me: Is it appropriate to sing along with an outdoor production of Sweeney Todd if I know all the words?
ChaCha: If you're not disturbing the people around you, sing your heart out!

Saturday, July 29, 2006

If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me

I got a new cell phone the first week of April. I loved it. It was great. Over the last nearly 4 months, there were a couple times where the screen froze. It fixed itself right away, so I didn't stress. This week, all of a sudden, it's been freezing up every time I open it. Especially when I get text messages. It's MESSED. I tried switching the battery, pulling out the SIM card and replacing it, turning it off for long periods of time....NOTHING works. So, I finally called T-Mobile. A nice woman named Brenda helped me go through all of their troubleshooting procedures for my phone (all of which I'd tried already) and then after what seemed like the longest service phone call I've ever made, she finally gave up and said she'd send me a new phone. However, the fastest it could get here was in 3 days.


So, I switched back to my old phone for three days. It doesn't hold a charge very long, and there are lots of little features that I don't much like. But, oh, well. At least it works.


Then I found a nifty little thing. When I went to send a text this afternoon, I found that the outbox of the old phone was FULL of messages from the first week of April. Being the nostalgic/sentimental freak I am, I went through and started reading them. It was crazy seeing exactly where my life was at nearly 4 months ago. It's almost like I was a completely different person. I'm so amazed at the growth and progress I've had in certain areas in my life. Suddenly a really bad texting habit has found purpose. It was awesome.


In other news....well, okay. There's not really any other news.


However, I've decided I really like the TV show Dog Bites Man. It's HILARIOUS. It's improvised, and the actors are playing a newsteam. They interview real people on the street. It's great. And just what I needed, too. Another TV addiction. Guh. And with Superman rehearsals starting next week, it's not going to be easy to have an addiction to my television. You'd think I'd use that as an excuse to quit, but you'd be wrong. I'll just end up using every spare minute to catch up. God bless DVRs.


*Note to self: set a goal of writing ONE stinking blog without talking about TV...