Sabbath Poetry

Megan and Aja were in town last week, and the haiku commenced. I promised Megan I'd post these, but there are A LOT, and I haven't had time to post them until now. Technically, I should be working on my portfolio for student teaching, so I don't REALLY have time to post them now, either, but I DON'T CARE. And I stand by my claim that writing haiku in church is okay, as long as there are occasional references to what you're hearing from speakers/teachers.

***

Megan's big problem
Involves love of nicotine.
Darn jitters! Go 'way!

Aja shakes her head
People try to be funny
Sacrament meeting

Christmas came and went
Teri gave me a Batman
In Build-a-Bear form

Remember the part
The guy decapitated
Up and tried to walk?

Taryn is jealous
Of my friendship with Wall-E
He's such a cute 'bot!

Hark! Herald angels
Are singing about Jesus
And not the weather

My nose needs blowing
I feel all stuffy and gross
Snot is not my friend

Remember Holly?
I don't think I do, although
If she'd freaking call...

Remember Heidi?
I think of her whenever
I see a cupcake

Please don't judge me, jerk!
I'm just as good as you are.
Get out of my face!

President Monson
Likes to quote from Music Man
Good thing it's not Hair!

Frosted styrofoam
Would prob'ly taste really good
On a Fast Sunday

Sacrament haiku
I'll probably got to Hell
Just for writing them

Sometimes closing hymns
Are sung in British accents
That makes them the best

Meryl Streep as a nun
Is really quite convincing
And a bit scary

If good comes from God
And evil's from the devil,
Where do I come from?

Sometimes I'm afraid
My phone is going to kill me
Stop talking to me!

Don't blame media
For all of the world's problems
Blame my possessed phone!

If I were a ghost
I would haunt you all the time
Except on Fridays

J'adore le Noel
J'adore donner les cadeaux
Comme l'enfant Jesus

(If you speak French, don't point out that I made mistakes in that. I know it. Cut me some slack, d'accord?!)

My watch is missing
It makes Sunday School so slow
Give me the time, man!

I'm Jeremy's phone
I want in on haiku, too!
The world will be mine!

Jeremy is dead
Address all words to Moto
I'm taking his calls

I am not dead yet
Hurry, someone stop the phone!
Call an exorcist!

Don't listen to him
No exorcism today
Instead, eat ice cream!

Now I want ice cream
If it wasn't the Sabbath
I'd got to Cold Stone

***

You're probably shaking your head at how dorky I am right now, and you know what? I DON'T CARE! HA! Let's see you come up with a better way to stay awake in church.