The Last 5 Years

Tonight is my fifth anniversary!!!

Of blogging.

Five years ago tonight, around 1 AM, I found an outlet for myself to start rambling, ranting, and raving, but without having to actually go to the work of writing with a pen/cil.

That was back when I used a website called MySpace, which now feels as dated as saying that I listened to an 8 track player while I blogged.

Back then, I stayed up until around 3 every night, and slept until 11 every day. I worked afternoons and evenings doing piano lessons and theatre, so I didn’t have any reason to get up or go to bed any earlier. I would stay up late and watch TV shows on DVD and blog.

My first blog post read as follows:

I don't really have anything insightful to say. Every time I have a blog or journal of any kind, I slack off after only a few entries. It's late, though, I can't sleep, and I'm bored. So, I'm blogging.

Blog. Blog. Blog. Blog. Blog.

Ooh! I thought of something interesting to say. Have you ever found yourself so not used to receiving compliments in certain areas that when it happens, you have a hard time believing it? I hate that. I struggle with it WAY too much. It's a good thing I have Batman shoes, though. They make everything better. Except for when Ender makes fun of them. Jerk.

Notes: I forgot that my posts used to actually be kind of short, I did NOT slack off after a few entries, I have NO idea what compliments I was talking about, I still have my Batman shoes (they’ve even made an appearance on this blog), and I don’t ever talk to Ender anymore (which is sad).

I kept my blog on MySpace until the end of 2007. For most of the year of 2007, I was only using MySpace to keep up my blog. When MySpace kept changing to try to be more like Facebook, and I kept getting more and more spam and inappropriate messages on there, I finally decided it was time to move my blog.

I brought most of the posts here, took a handful to my secret blog, and the last few were left behind, because I didn’t feel that they were worthy of remembering (mostly just video clips and song lyrics).

There have been times that I’ve slacked a little, but I’ve stayed fairly consistent through the last 5 years, and I’m glad that I have something to look back on and see where my life has come.

When I started blogging, I had no clear direction in life. I had no college degree. I was convinced that I’d never get married. I was not a religious person. I had only directed one musical and one straight play. I had never taught in a school (other than a little subbing). I was still working for a youth theatre. I was still teaching piano lessons. Look how far I’ve come.

When it comes right down to it, I’m a selfish blogger, because I don’t really blog for other readers. My blogs simply exist for my own record-keeping purposes. Although, every once in a while, I write passive-aggressive posts like this, and this, knowing full-well that the people who I wanted to read them would. And sometimes, I write things because I know certain people will find them funny, like this and this. But the fact remains that they were written for me. And that’s the thing that I love about blogging.

I’m not one of those people who feels the need to put a counter on my blog or a map to show where people are coming from. I know those facts, because I have an invisible counter. But I don’t feel the need to brag. Even when a post gets the most posts in one day that my blog has EVER gotten.

I’m glad that the posts exist for me, and the fact that you’re reading this is icing on the cake. Except, I don’t really like icing on cake. Ooh! The fact that you’re reading this is cheese on the pizza. And for that, I thank you, because pizza is my favorite food.

And thus ends another long rambling musing. Counting the posts on this blog, the secret blog, and MySpace (not counting duplicates), I’ve blogged about 230 times. Here’s to 230 more!

Wait – I Have a Blog?!

Wait – I Have a Blog?!
a picturebook pictureblog by Jeremy Boob

(Dedicated to Melinda, who specifically requested more blogging from me.)

 

Once upon a time, I had a blog.

 

 

I used to LOVE to blog. I loved it to the point that I probably blogged too much, about things that were too personal, and irritated people with it.

 

 

I blogged when I was really happy. I blogged when I was really mad. When I was REALLY mad, I secret-blogged.

 

 

Then, I got really busy with too many things on my plate, and blogging sort of fell by the wayside.

 

 

I got busy doing things like teaching. And music directing lots of shows that made me miserable. And going on vacations. And to theatre teacher conferences. And meeting my biological ancestors (!).

 

 

I got really busy with being a husband, and also having a second family.

 

 

One day, I realized how much I missed taking care of my blog. So, I decided to do something about it.

 

 

I made a cool new design for it.

 

 

I updated my song playlist.

 

 

I vowed that I will do a better job of blogging.

The End

On a Happier Note…

I should have posted that last post on my secret blog. Oops. Oh, well. Everyone needs some self-righteous, preachy person to remind them that lying is bad, right?

I realized that I haven’t really blogged about much lately. Since my blog is the only way I can keep track of life events (I can’t do journals, because writing takes too long and frustrates me that I’m wasting time), I should probably remind myself of important things that have happened since the last time I really blogged.

• I realized that I shouldn’t ever do a show just for the money. And then I made the mistake of doing ANOTHER show just for the money.
• Lauren and I got our apartment all put together. Okay, that’s a lie. There’s still random junk piles all over, but we deal with it. (It’s mostly just things that don’t have a home anywhere.)
• I’ve learned that some regular recipes can be cooked pretty well in a Crock Pot.
• I finished my first full year as a teacher, and by the end of the school year, I had a much more healthy outlook at my job.
• I did a couple of amazing shows.
• I worked on three shows at school. 1 was miserable, 1 was really fun, 1 was somewhere in between.
• I was invited to participate in a summer youth theatre camp, which I’ve loved every minute of, so far.
• I lost lots of blog traffic because I stopped posting.
• I’ve seen 3, yes, 3 movies in the theater this year: Alice in Wonderland, The A-Team, and Toy Story 3. I loved the 2 latter, hated the first. Never had such a splitting headache from 3d.
• I spent several months on a sourdough kick, and was making it at least once a week.
• I’ve had a younger family member go on a mission for the first time.
• I’ve proven that I CAN be even worse at writing a missionary than I was with Heather.
• I’ve gained a new-found love for sound editing.
• After almost a solid year of not playing Rock Band/Guitar Hero, I found my way back to them and started sharing them with my wife.
• I almost cried at the end of Lost, as well as the end of Toy Story 3.
• I learned that I can’t go into Costco just to pick up bottled water and a gift for Lauren. I end up buying Muppet Show and NewsRadio dvds.
• I learned that I’ve always looked the brilliance of Hamlet just because it’s too common.
• I’m coming close to making a decision about whether or not I want to pursue an MFA.
• I’ve learned that my writing skills are deteriorating the less I blog (not that they were good before, just worse now).
• I’ve realized that I’m too dang old to vent on blogs late at night when I have to get up early to go teach a vocal class.

Current (and Not-So-Current) Peeves

I opened Windows Live Writer to blog for the first time in months, and I found this unpublished post from a LONG time ago. I’m going to just add to the end.

• People who are REALLY nice to somebody’s face, to the point of making them believe that they’re good friends, and then say awful things behind their backs: this is why I don’t go out of my way to be nice to people.
• Students with smart mouths who are dishonest in order to cover their tracks
• People who cause Lauren stress
• People who try to tell Lauren how to do wedding stuff
• People who make a huge deal about how they expect a wedding invite, but don’t give you their address and won’t respond to a Facebook message requesting it
• OOH! People who finally respond when you send them a text asking for their address, who then slam the fact that your message over Facebook wasn’t “special” enough
• People who offer to help with wedding stuff and then either back out or sit and complain/whine the whole time they’re helping
• People who don’t say “please” or “thank you”
• People who CONSTANTLY expect people to do things for them
• One-way friendships
• People who respond to texts/voicemails on THEIR time
• Deceased grandparents who insist on haunting me – I’m already being followed by Eleanor
• The lack of communication between the rest of the faculty/administration at my school and me
• People who insist on turning right from the middle of the street – WHEN THERE’S A RIGHT TURN LANE

Some things are current peeves still/again. And now the new stuff:

• Watching Will & Grace reruns and remembering how much I was irritated by Woody Harrelson’s guest arc
• Girls that are less than a year away from turning 30 who act like they’re 13
• Said girls treating Lauren like dirt
• Having to wear long pants every day to school
• Feeling like I have to babysit techies
• The weather (don’t tell me that Utah is always this weird in April. It’s not. It CAN be, but it’s not ALWAYS this bad)
• Never having/making time to blog
• Never having/making time to write my missionary brother-in-law
• Finally making time to write a blog, and getting so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open

[Insert (attempt at) Clever Title]

I’m really tired, but I’m clearing off my DVR tonight so that it doesn’t get too full while I’m gone for the rest of the week. It’s sad that my priority is TV and not packing. I will probably get to the competition and find that I forgot to pack underwear because I was so tired when I packed. Oh, well. Sometimes TV is worth going commando. In the meantime, I’m watching/recording stuff off my DVR and recording random thoughts.

I wish I was a better writer, like Trash or Julie. My blogs are more lists than actual writings lately, and that saddens me. I used to LOVE to write and always wanted to make it better. Now, I just throw a list together and call it good, like I’m a theatre reviewer for the Deseret News or something.

I’ve had a weird feeling all night. I can’t put my finger on it. I don’t know if it’s about Shakespeare Competition, Urinetown, or something else that’s not as present on my mind. Whatever it is, I’m not liking it, and I wish it would go away.

I also dislike feeling like somebody is bugged by me, and they won’t say why so I can fix whatever I’m doing to bug them. 9 out of 10 times that I feel this way, it’s usually me just being stupid/sensitive. But tonight, I had several moments, and I’m paranoid. It doesn’t help that I’ve had that other yucky feeling.

I’m not going to see Lauren again until Sunday. This sucks. Luckily, though, we live in an age where there are cell phones for texting and calling anytime. I could not have survived in Shakespeare’s time.

I want to be in a show. I want to perform somehow. It kills me that UVU is doing shows that I would love to be in – AFTER I’ve graduated. I know I’m not very good at acting and singing, and that I can’t ever get cast in anything but A Christmas Carol, but I’m dying to be on the other side of the table at auditions for once. I love directing. I like music directing. I LOVE teaching/coaching. I just miss the days when I balanced it better and went back and forth between music directing and acting. Sadly, I don’t see any performing in my future. As long as I don’t have a full-time job, I have to only do jobs where I can get paid, and acting isn’t one.

I don’t want to be sitting on a bus with students for 5 hours tomorrow. I bought some new headphones that are REALLY good at noise-canceling. We’re driving straight from Orem to St. George to see Aida at Tuacahn. Please, God, give me the strength to not kill any children.

I’m missing the following people right now (for different reasons): Grandma Orton, The Culps, Heidi T., Bryan, John, The Masons, Pre-Crazy/Skanky Mariah Carey

Saturday Night Live has not been funny this year. I think I’ve only chuckled a couple times so far. That was pretty funny when the new girl said the f word, though. And that freakish thing that was dancing inside a giant metal atom was pretty laughable. I’m told she’s some famous singer, though.

I think I’ve finally narrowed down my Halloween costume to a few choices. I’m not terribly excited about any of them, which leads me to believe that maybe I should just not dress up this year.

I’ve been blogging semi-regularly for 3 1/2 years, and while this isn’t a huge accomplishment, it’s pretty big for me. I’ve NEVER been good at keeping a journal, so it’s fascinating to go back and read my thoughts on what was going on and how I was feeling months or years ago. When I look back on this post, I’m going to think: “Wow. I was a real downer that night.”

Blargh!

This may make absolutely no sense. It's another really tired/stream of consciousness post.

Sometimes, I think I'm really clever and post a year in review blog, and then find out that Chris Clark beat me to the punch. And now it looks like I stole his idea, and I'm one of the many other groupies that do everything to be just like him. At least I know that I started writing mine last week in Word, and if anyone questions me, I have the file to prove it.

I'm watching Run, Fatboy, Run and I'm pleasantly surprised. I think that's what happens when I have really low expectations. Also, Simon Pegg is one funny man. Because of him, I might actually see the new Star Trek. I'd see it for J.J. Abrams, but I'm still angry at him over Fringe.

For Christmas, Teri gave me a gift card to Build-a-Bear and a Batman costume for a bear. Today, we went to build my bear. His name is Bruce, and he growls like a tiger. You may think that a tiger growl coming out of a panda bear is a little ridiculous, but it's really no more ridiculous than Christian Bale's Batman voice.

I really like my new phone. Especially the camera part. It takes AWESOME pictures. It drains the battery to take such awesome pictures, though. I don't like that part so much.

I sure do like How I Met Your Mother. I think it was Entertainment Weekly that I was reading where a critic said that it was as good as Friends. I don't agree, and I think he was just saying that because it was a cool thing to say. However, I rather enjoy that show. And I may or may not have a small crush on Cobie Smulders. Mostly when she's dressed as Robin Sparkles, though. Speaking of Robin Sparkles, I introduced Bristol to "Let's Go To the Mall" today. He rather enjoyed it, so I promised him we could watch the music video the next time he comes over.

My nephew Traven is a crazy dancer. I was at his house for a minute the other night, and his dad put on Little Einsteins, which is apparently like American Bandstand for toddlers. He was freaking out like Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt in Girls Just Want to Have Fun. And his dance moves are getting quite advanced. He was doing a kind of pelvic thrust while his left hand was waving up and down, and his right hand was turning in the air like he was lassooing. I bet he can dance better than any other 1 year old, and if I were his parent, I'd totally be pimping that on some kind of reality show.

I have a huge internet crush right now. It's not like a creepy one, like where I have to worry that she's really a 50 year old man named Harold or anything. I've spent time with her in person, and while I thought she was cute and fun, it's her web persona that really gets me. It's kind of Shop Around the Cornerish. Except instead of letters, we use the internet. Someone should make a movie about that. And Edith Bunker can be her cute old surrogate mother.

Do people with other accents dislike their native accent as much as I do? I hate the way people in Utah talk. HATE.

The seafood enchilada I had for dinner made a big deal on the menu about how it had "real" crab meat. This leads me to be suspicious that it was not, in fact, "real". Also, the fact that I keep burping up the taste of pollock. That's pretty much strike three against that restaurant. I highly DON'T recommend Mi Ranchito on State Street in Sandy.

I finally found a copy of Lemony Snicket's A Lump of Coal today. I'm going to read it before bed. I actually found a few of them, so Teri bought one, too. Had I just found one, I would have kept it for myself. I'm very selfish that way.

I really want to go see The Spirit again. If I get time to see the other movies I wanted to see this week, I just might. Wanna come?

(Adverb)? You're a (Funny Noun). That's Why.

And now, the blog you've all been waiting for. A rant in the form of MAD-LIBS!!!!!! In case you've never played Mad-Libs, here's how it works (taken from an actual Mad-Libs book):

To begin with, DO NOT look at the story below. Fill in the blanks with the words
called for. Then, using the words you have selected, fill in the blank spaces in
the story. Now you've created your own hilarious MAD LIBS game!

Ready? Okay. Here are your words.

1. Number
2. Adjective
3. Adjective
4. Verb
5. Same Verb
6. Same Verb
7. Noun
8. Verb Ending in “ing”
9. Adverb
10. Mode of Transportation
11. Verb
12. Plural Noun
13. Adjective
14. Verb
15. Plural Noun
16. Verb
17. Verb
18. Plural Noun
19. Insulting Noun
20. Noun
21. Verb

All filled out? Go ahead and scroll down, then.



















If you're over (Number) and not (Adjective), is there something (Adjective) with you? No. Not necessarily. But if you (Verb), and (Same Verb), and (Same Verb) about it, yes, there is.

There's a certain (Noun) I've been (Verb Ending in “ing”) with (Adverb) who is in that (Mode of Transportation), and she constantly (Verb) for (Plural Noun) why she's still (Adjective). She (Verb) the kind of (Plural Noun) that you can't NOT (Verb), and then she (Verb) with your (Plural Noun). Good grief, (Insulting Noun)! If you want my (Noun) - TAKE IT! But don't (Verb) with it.


Fun, eh?! If you played along, I expect you to post the words you came up with in a comment on this post. The original post was much longer and more detailed, but I was getting bored creating my own Mad-Libs, so I simplified. And now, I've vented - and for listening, you've been rewarded with a fun game!

You're welcome.

Update

Lauren supplied new batteries for the evil Pooh.

My brother is supposedly working on an ultimate Christmas playlist AND a funny hat picture.

What have you done?

(Notice that he started to look the other way at the exact same time that I started talking, meaning that he didn't actually look the wrong way.)

Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun....Or ARE They?!

In light of some recent events, I've decided that I probably shouldn't be so personal on a public blog. When I need to talk about things that are too personal for too many public eyes, I'll post on my secret blog. That's right. I have a secret blog. And it's password protected, so YOU can't read it. Did you really think I was always telling you everything? Bwahahahaha!!!

What this means for you as the blog reader:

• You will have to go elsewhere to find rants about professors who suck.
• If you want proof that I do date and juicy details about that, you'll have to wait and see if I volunteer that information in person.
• When I'm miserable working on a show, I'll just focus on the happy aspects, and you won't ever know the juicy tidbits so that when you go see it, you can secretly laugh as you see my archenemies on stage or backstage.
• If I want to talk about how cool somebody is, or how much I love them, they'll never be able to read it.
• You're always going to have to worry if I'm writing scathing blogs about you behind your back.
• When I write haiku in Church, I'll have to post them on the secret blog, because I can't have people leaking information like that back to my ward.

What you can do about it (if you care):

• Essays on why I should keep sharing the intimate details of my secretive life.
• Candy Cane flavored Hershey Kisses. These should be placed in large plastic Ziploc bags and left on my doorstep. You may include a nice note with these, but it is not necessary.
• In junior high, Teri used to cut out pictures of women she knew I had crushes on. Then she'd put them in envelopes and give them to me. This trend should be revived. Of course, not by Teri, because she already has a password to said secret blog... Acceptable women include, but are not limited to: Jenna Fischer, Kelly Clarkson, Anna Friel, Evangeline Lilly, Elizabeth Mitchell, Ashley Brown, Kelly Ripa (don't judge me), Reese Witherspoon, Dame Judy Dench, and the one who started the magazine clippings in envelopes trend, Alicia Silverstone.
• Go down my blogroll and leave a random message on the blogs of at least 3 people you do not know. These messages should be friendly, should not mention me, and should praise something about a blog entry by the owner of the blog. If you know everyone on my blogroll, you have to post at least 5 messages.
• You can go to Wal-Mart or Target and try on a random hat that you would NEVER buy/wear. Take a picture of this with a cell-phone camera, and post it somewhere on the internet. Respond to this post with a link to that picture.
• Design for me your ideal Christmas playlist. This list cannot include two songs by any one artist, and has to have at least one song from each decade from 1950 to the present. And it should also include at least one song from each of the following genres: Rock, Pop, Jazz, Classical, Country, R&B, Rap, Dance, Techno, New Age, and Traditional Japanese Koto.
• Replace the batteries in my demonic talking Winnie-the-Pooh.
• Write a post about me on your own blog and dedicate a song to me. Include a link to a video of the song from YouTube. You should find some way to tie the song lyrics into the post about me.
• Watch The View everyday for one week, and everytime one of the other women picks a fight with Elisabeth Hasselbeck, take notes. At the end of the week, put yourself in the shoes of the women who picked fights, and write letters to Elisabeth to apologize.

Okay, so maybe I wasn't really planning to start posting more on my secret blog that's really just a place to vent without doing harm, but now that I've come up with fun activities for the small handful of faithful readers of my blog, I really think I'm going to. Come on, people! Get cracking! If nobody does anything from the list, I may be so hurt that nobody cares that I'll stop posting on this blog altogether. And in that case, rest assured, you WILL be trashed on a secret blog...