Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun....Or ARE They?!

In light of some recent events, I've decided that I probably shouldn't be so personal on a public blog. When I need to talk about things that are too personal for too many public eyes, I'll post on my secret blog. That's right. I have a secret blog. And it's password protected, so YOU can't read it. Did you really think I was always telling you everything? Bwahahahaha!!!

What this means for you as the blog reader:

• You will have to go elsewhere to find rants about professors who suck.
• If you want proof that I do date and juicy details about that, you'll have to wait and see if I volunteer that information in person.
• When I'm miserable working on a show, I'll just focus on the happy aspects, and you won't ever know the juicy tidbits so that when you go see it, you can secretly laugh as you see my archenemies on stage or backstage.
• If I want to talk about how cool somebody is, or how much I love them, they'll never be able to read it.
• You're always going to have to worry if I'm writing scathing blogs about you behind your back.
• When I write haiku in Church, I'll have to post them on the secret blog, because I can't have people leaking information like that back to my ward.

What you can do about it (if you care):

• Essays on why I should keep sharing the intimate details of my secretive life.
• Candy Cane flavored Hershey Kisses. These should be placed in large plastic Ziploc bags and left on my doorstep. You may include a nice note with these, but it is not necessary.
• In junior high, Teri used to cut out pictures of women she knew I had crushes on. Then she'd put them in envelopes and give them to me. This trend should be revived. Of course, not by Teri, because she already has a password to said secret blog... Acceptable women include, but are not limited to: Jenna Fischer, Kelly Clarkson, Anna Friel, Evangeline Lilly, Elizabeth Mitchell, Ashley Brown, Kelly Ripa (don't judge me), Reese Witherspoon, Dame Judy Dench, and the one who started the magazine clippings in envelopes trend, Alicia Silverstone.
• Go down my blogroll and leave a random message on the blogs of at least 3 people you do not know. These messages should be friendly, should not mention me, and should praise something about a blog entry by the owner of the blog. If you know everyone on my blogroll, you have to post at least 5 messages.
• You can go to Wal-Mart or Target and try on a random hat that you would NEVER buy/wear. Take a picture of this with a cell-phone camera, and post it somewhere on the internet. Respond to this post with a link to that picture.
• Design for me your ideal Christmas playlist. This list cannot include two songs by any one artist, and has to have at least one song from each decade from 1950 to the present. And it should also include at least one song from each of the following genres: Rock, Pop, Jazz, Classical, Country, R&B, Rap, Dance, Techno, New Age, and Traditional Japanese Koto.
• Replace the batteries in my demonic talking Winnie-the-Pooh.
• Write a post about me on your own blog and dedicate a song to me. Include a link to a video of the song from YouTube. You should find some way to tie the song lyrics into the post about me.
• Watch The View everyday for one week, and everytime one of the other women picks a fight with Elisabeth Hasselbeck, take notes. At the end of the week, put yourself in the shoes of the women who picked fights, and write letters to Elisabeth to apologize.

Okay, so maybe I wasn't really planning to start posting more on my secret blog that's really just a place to vent without doing harm, but now that I've come up with fun activities for the small handful of faithful readers of my blog, I really think I'm going to. Come on, people! Get cracking! If nobody does anything from the list, I may be so hurt that nobody cares that I'll stop posting on this blog altogether. And in that case, rest assured, you WILL be trashed on a secret blog...