Content warning: this blog is long and churchy. If you’re not familiar with the LDS Church, you might not understand everything I talk about, and I’m too lazy to make a glossary right now.
If you’ve talked to me much since I got married, then you know that one of the biggest problems I’ve had in that time has been mine and Lauren’s awful ward.
In the past 13 months, we’ve been officially home-taught 0 times. Lauren has never had an official visit from visiting teachers. (Note: our home teachers AND Lauren’s visiting teachers have reported that they have been visiting us.) We also don’t know our own HTing and VTing assignments. When Lauren has asked the RS Presidency for her assignment, they put her off, but then blame her for not knowing.
Whenever we have to miss Church, it’s REALLY hard to get anybody to agree to teach our Primary class, except for one mother who we feel bad about calling every time.
Many people in the ward will turn their heads and snub us when they pass us in the hall (including Bishopric members). When we went in for tithing settlement, the Bishopric member who was supposed to be there greeting everyone as they came spent the majority of the time talking on his cell phone to his mom, and then came to check the list to see who we were. When he read our names, he turned and walked back into the office.
That’s just a small sampling of the crap we’ve dealt with during our time in this ward.
Well, all that’s going to change now!
After 13 months of being shunned/avoided/ignored/mentally *****-slapped, everyone wants to be our friends now.
About one year ago, I was asked to play the organ in Sacrament one week. Our ward doesn’t have an actual organist calling for some reason, and people just volunteer to do it. On this week, apparently nobody who played was available. So, the music chairperson, whom I’d never met, called and asked me to do it. I obliged, and after the meeting, the chairperson cornered me. She praised my playing and told me that she was basically auditioning me by having me play. She played the organ herself, and she could have done it that day. She then asked if I would ever be willing to perform or help with special musical numbers in Sacrament. I told her I would be willing to do that. Then she told me it would be great if I’d join their roster of organists. I told her that I had a Primary calling, which meant that I wouldn’t be able to do postlude every week. I had both the organist calling and a Primary calling once in 2004, and when I would show up to Primary late, the kids would be rowdy. I told her I didn’t want to do that again. She got a little frustrated, and told me that I team teach with my wife, so I should let Lauren handle the kids.
I decided to be done with the conversation, and I said that if I didn’t have a Bishopric-issued calling, then I wouldn’t be an organist. She got a little more agitated and told me that the way they have the organists set up is great because it gives people a chance to practice their talents and share them when they’d like to. I countered with the fact that I don’t feel the need to share my talents when there are others who do, and if there are already at least 3 organists, then I clearly wasn’t needed. I told her that I would still be willing to help with any special numbers, and if they were in a jam, I would help with the organ again, but I would not become a regular organist.
She became very frustrated and short at that point, and basically told me that she was disappointed in my unwillingness to help.
I never spoke to her again.
She moved around October/November. A new music chairperson was not called until very recently, and shortly after she was called, she asked me to play in Sacrament.
This Sunday, I played a Michael R. Hicks arrangement of “Our Savior’s Love/I Feel My Savior’s Love.” It was a pretty good, though fairly simple arrangement. I didn’t want to do something too complex, since my weekend was spent on the Syd Riggs benefit concert (blog to come at some point, probably). It was impressive enough, I guess, that suddenly everybody in the ward wanted to be my friend. People came into my classroom as Lauren and I were setting up to talk to me. People who JUST LAST SUNDAY rolled their eyes when they walked into a room and saw me were suddenly wanting to shake my hand. Lauren was treated like a celebrity wife by other women in the ward.
I can certainly understand how the Kennedys feel.
It baffles my mind that people can flip that easily. I’ve NEVER been in such a weird/fickle/cliquish/divisive/awful ward before.
But, I took advantage of the opportunity. Since the EQP was talking to me, I confronted him (nicely) about the home teaching situation. AND! I now know who my companion is, and we should hopefully be getting new home teachers.
Lauren now knows her visiting teaching assignment, and one of her visiting teachers added her on Facebook today.
Things are looking up!
If only I would have been willing to share my talents a year ago, and not pissed off some old lady who apparently controlled the whole ward like a drug lord…
A. You should move to my ward, and B. Someone needs to read the new church handbook. Organists are called, and NO ONE should imply that auditions are required for ward music things. (I just read the music section of the handbook so I'm prepared to school people.)
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