The Trouble with Love Is

I'm having second thoughts about my impending engagement to Kelly Clarkson. I still love her, I really do, but there are some issues I'm having.

First of all, when Matt first gave me a copy of the song "Never Again" back in March, I was upset by the fact that she said "I hope when you're in bed with her, you think of me." Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. Why do you have to be naughty like that?

Then there's the fact that not only is she being vulgar, she's trashing on an ex for being a religious guy. Things would be different with me, right?

Then I hear the back story and about how her entire new album is about this religious guy, and she's REALLY bitter. I've already heard the album at this point (thank you Michael for the mp3s), and I love it, but if we ever have a fight over something stupid like what brand of garbage bags to use in the kitchen, is she going to write a scathing album about it?

Then, I get the actual CD (the night before it comes out, thanks to my friend Josh) and in the "thank yous" A) she uses lots of swear words, B) she comes off as a spoiled brat, and C) she does not mention me anywhere.

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. I love you, I do. I love the album. I can look past the swearing. I can pretend to look past the apparent dislike of religious men. I can even overlook the albums about trash bag fights.

However...I finally heard the religious ex's rebuttal to "Never Again."

It's a better song.

Good-bye, Kelly. I will still listen to your music, and you will still hold a special place in my heart, but I'm moving on. It's been nice, but you can kiss this beautiful disaster good-bye.