I’m Human, She’s Dancer

Last week, Lauren and I went to the Killers concert at the E Center.

It was FANTASTIC. I tweeted several times throughout the night, so I’ll include my tweets in this blog, too.

Matt and David carpooled with us, but they braved general admission, so they didn’t sit with us at the concert.

The evening began with a lovely dinner at Carl’s Jr. I had a tasty burger, as did Lauren – because it looked “safe.” Matt ate a low-carb burger, which was a burger wrapped in lettuce. He was craving carbs afterward, though, and ALMOST ate half of a bun that we had found in the flowerbed outside. I don’t remember what David ate, but I don’t really care, because he brought up the subject of my dancing in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.

We got to the E Center and parked the car. On our way in, we saw a car parked very crookedly, with a message on the back window.

We were dying, and Matt insisted I take a picture. (You’re welcome, Matt!)

We got inside with plenty of time for the subpar opening act. Matt and David were in the middle of the floor, and we were on the second row just to the left of the stage. Pretty decent seats.

(Tweet: There's a girl in the opening band for Killers that looks just like my third grade teacher, Mrs. Nielsen. 7:32 PM Sep 26th)

At this point, I noticed that the guy in front of us had an iPhone, and it looked like he was on Twitter. I’m not usually that nosy (lie) but I thought “Hey, that guy he’s looking at on Twitter and pointing out to the girl with him looks like me. WAIT A MINUTE! That IS me!” I leaned forward, and saw that he had done a search on Twitter for “Killers” and turned up my profile because of my previous tweet. It was freaky. The guy got really annoying, though. He tweeted even more than I did that night.

The opening band was really lame, and they kept trying to be preachy. One of their songs had a really lame title, which they sang repeatedly, so of course I had to tweet in reference to the song “Listen to the Beat Come Down Like a Stone, So You Better Run, Run for Cover.” (That may not be the EXACT title, but you’d be surprised at how close it really is.)

(Tweet: I'm listening to the beat come down like a stone. And I really want to run. Run for cover. 7:50 PM Sep 26th)

After the opening act, there was a long intermission before Mariachi el Bronx took the stage.

At first, I was intrigued. It was a mariachi band that kind of rocked. After a couple songs, I was losing interest.

(Tweet: Done with mariachi. Killers now, please. 8:37 PM Sep 26th)

Then, the lead singer started spouting choice four-letter words. At one point, he had said enough of them that I turned to Lauren and told her that the concert was officially R-rated by MPAA standards.

One interesting thing about the concert was the audience. There were a lot of families there. Originally, I thought it was weird. Then, when the guy was swearing so much, I was kind of bugged, and I told Lauren that we were never bringing our kids to concerts like that. There were also typical concert-goers, including the woman whose tank-top was BARELY staying on. Lauren and I voted that nobody should wear tops like that- especially if they’re that large. I took a picture of her with the intent of posting it on my blog, but I’m going to be nicer and not post it here. It’s on my phone if you want to see it, though. :)

(Tweet: Pretty sure Hell's soundtrack consists of mariachi artists who think they're bad a. 8:41 PM Sep 26th)

Then, the coolest thing happened. The guy was swearing and trying to get praise, and people booed him. The guy got TICKED and said “You got a problem with us? It takes a lot of guts to get up here and play mariachi for your asses, so respect it!!!”

I thought I was going to die. I was laughing HARD. I had to text myself the exact quote for blogging purposes.

When they were FINALLY done, we had another long wait before The Killers finally came out. They opened with a really strong song (it wasn’t one I know really well) and then started the first four notes of the guitar riff from “Human.” Suddenly, Brandon stopped the rest of the band and said they had to clear the stage. He told us they’d be back. Some guy came out and said they were experiencing technical difficulties, and they would start again in 5 minutes.

(Tweet: RT @MatthewGSmith: Technical difficulties. Brandon and co had to leave the stage. Something dangerous? 9:28 PM Sep 26th)

After much longer than 5 minutes, they came back out and started “Human” again. They were BRILLIANT. And they played a nice, lengthy set, which made up for the crap. In fact, I didn’t tweet again the rest of the night because I was so entertained.

Throughout the Killers, I was blown away by how many of the middle-aged dads AND their kids were rocking out. I was really touched that they were able to share such a fun experience. I told Lauren that our kids ARE going to come to shows like this after all, because I’m going to take them. However, I don’t rock out and mosh like some of the dads…

After the show, Matt tried to lead us to my car, and he led us astray. I think it was due to a lack of carbs in his diet. David and I won the prize for finding the car, which we all then sat in for at least a half hour trying to get out of the parking lot. People are stupid.

We finally got out of there and eventually made it home.

It was an amazing concert, and a nice end to (*drumroll*) THE YEAR OF CONCERTS. I started trying to work out a ranking in my head for all the concerts I’ve seen this year, and then I decided to buy tickets for Mat Kearney’s return to SLC later this month, so THAT will have to be the end of (*drumroll*) THE YEAR OF CONCERTS. However, as of right now:

#1) The Fray with Jack’s Mannequin
#2) The Killers
#3) Keane with Mat Kearney
#4) Kelly Clarkson
#5) Rascal Flatts
#6) Jim Brickman
#7) Lonestar

I’m ranking strictly by show alone, and NOT the company I was keeping or the crappy people surrounding us that almost ruined them. Otherwise, Jim Brickman would be #1 because that was mine and Lauren’s first official(ish) date…

I’m glad I’ve had such an amazing year for concerts, and probably doubt I ever will again. Usually shows keep me from attending this many. But I’ve had my fill for a while – or at least until I have pre-teens of my own to take and corrupt with foul-mouthed mariachi bands.