Less Miserable (A Classically Snarky Jeremy Vent)

I have a bad habit when it comes to seeing movies. You see, I'm a person who sets his hopes so high that no movies can ever satisfy them. Therefore, when I'm getting excited for a movie, I start to set myself up for disappointment, and just expect that it's going to be bad. Very rarely do I end up disliking a movie as much as I'm afraid I will. Take for example, the 2010 cow pie known as Skyline. Ugh. That was partially my fault, though, since I didn't prep myself to hate it. I just figured it wouldn't be quite as good as I hoped. It was awful. When I saw it opening night with my wife and my sister's family, I was SHOCKED by how bad it was. I couldn't believe a Hollywood studio had greenlit it. Having friends working in the film industry, I know how hard it is to get something made.

After I got home from seeing Skyline, I posted this on Facebook:

Jeremy is wondering if Hollywood will ever again be able to assemble a cast as untalented/unlikable as the one in Skyline.

I only got a few responses. 2 said they had heard the same thing, 2 seemed grateful that I saved them the misery of seeing it, and 1 was said that I didn't like an actor that he did. That was it. No fanfare, no argument.

Flash forward 2 years to this holiday movie season. We had the chance to go see an advance screening of Les Miserables a week before it came out, and we didn't take it. By the time we saw it, 3 days after Christmas, my Facebook and Twitter feeds were completely plastered with praise about how it was the most brilliant movie ever made, and everybody connected with it so well, and pretty much saying that God himself could not have made a better movie.

I was still doubtful. I had seen the trailer with Anne Hathaway singing "I Dreamed a Dream" and a snippet of the whole cast singing "One Day More," and I hadn't been impressed by either.

I was also sick of hearing about the "revolutionary" new way that they filmed it, by recording everything live on the set with just a rehearsal pianist following the actors, and then adding the orchestra later.

GUESS WHAT?! That's how it was always done in the past. If you don't believe me, watch special features on old movie musical DVDs. The two that immediately come to mind are The Wizard of Oz and West Side Story (yes, I know they redubbed the voices on the latter, but I don't think they originally planned to, or at least the actors had no idea, and it was therefore standard practice).

On the morning of Friday, December 28, 2012, we journeyed to the Provo Towne Centre with our friend, Teri, and settled into our perfect reserved seats (front row of the upper section so you can put your feet up on the railing - a MUST for long movies).

The movie started, with grand, sweeping images of convicts trying to pull a ship into port (is that what they were doing?) in the rain, while Russell Crowe stood watch. The exciting opening chords of the music started, and I immediately felt that something wasn't right. The thrilling, heart-pumping music was too quiet. The cinematography was BEAUTIFUL, and the shots were set very nicely. And then they started to sing. And it all went to Hell.

Les Miserables is a musical, one of which I'm very fond. I remember the first time I got to play in the pit for the show, and I was ridiculously emotional because the music meant SO much to me. I remember being 16, and sitting in a rehearsal with Syd Riggs and some of the leads, as she talked to them about how God is the root of the story, and after that, the story meant even more to me. I have multiple recordings of the show, including the atrocious original French concept album - which I dearly love.

As I watched this new adaptation, I was actually really impressed with the technical aspects. And as far as adaptations go, it was pretty brilliant. They did a fantastic job of cutting the show down, adding some new things that couldn't be done on stage, and switching the order of some songs/scenes was pretty inspired.

But the singing.

Oh, the singing.

Sorry. "Singing."

What I heard was not singing, for the most part. Hugh Jackman was decent as ValJean. Samantha Barks was fantastic as Eponine, as was Aaron Tveit as Enjolras. I loved the children (Little Cosette and Gavroche). Anne Hathaway was pretty decent. But everybody else ranged from bad to flat-out horrible.

Halfway through the movie, Russell Crowe started to sing again, and Teri, who has NO training in music or theatre, groaned out loud about how bad he was. Throughout several parts of the movie, I was shaking, with my head down, trying hard not to laugh. The love duets were the worst. To top it all off, the sound mix was terrible, and the voices overpowered the beautiful new orchestrations.

I can appreciate good acting. Look, I'm not the best singer. In fact, I'm not very good at all, and the only way I can do musicals is by compensating with my acting. As a music director and even a director, I always harp on casts to focus more on the acting than the singing. I GET that acting is important. (Also, remember, I have a degree in theatre.) I think Anne Hathaway understood this, and she had a fantastic balance between singing and acting. But other actors in this movie KNEW they couldn't sing, and therefore, they didn't lose themselves completely in the roles as they should have. Helena Bonham Carter and Sacha Baron Cohen, who did their best to ruin Sweeney Todd in the same way, were actually not that terrible this time around, except they both seemed so nervous that they dragged all of their tempos. "Master of the House" seemed like it went on forever. I LOVE Russell Crowe as an actor. Gladiator is one of my all-time favorite movies. When he is invested in a role, he's Oscar-worthy (see also: The Insider). But every time he walked on screen, he looked petrified. He was not the commanding military official that Inspector Javert needs to be.

After the movie, we went to eat and discuss how let-down we were. I wanted the movie to be good. I wanted it to be an Oscar winner. I wanted Hollywood to start making more Broadway adaptations again, because there haven't been enough lately. But the movie was a huge disappointment, and the others with me agreed.

Without going into any details, I posted the following on Facebook:

There must be two Les Miserables movies out, because the one I just sat through was not deserving of all the raves I'm hearing.

As we sat and ate, the responses started coming. Several likes, and a few people who agreed or implied that they were grateful for my opinion. And then the arguments.

Look. I believe in freedom of speech. I do. But I don't go onto your Facebook wall and argue with you. Unless you post something that I find racist, sexist, or in another way damaging to others, I'm just going to ignore it if I disagree. So, how is it okay for people to come on and tell me that I'M WRONG and that it was a brilliant movie? And telling me that my nearly 20 years of music directing experience is not enough to know what makes a good voice and what doesn't?

I was upset by some comments/messages/tweets that I got about it. Even though I wouldn't do it to others, I wasn't really bugged by the "oh, I didn't feel that way at all" types. But when people started telling me I was wrong, I was really upset. I'm currently working in the musical theatre industry. I just went out to New York and met with licensing company reps, a composer, and a NYC-based MD, all of whom seemed to respect me, my talent, and my knowledge. I've gotten compliments from composers on how I've handled their work. But, I guess I'm wrong when it comes to my "opinions" on whether people can sing or not.

It's frustrating to me that our online culture has made it easier for stupid attacks like that to happen. And what's more, it's frustrating that our generation takes offense so easily. If you liked Les Miserables, good for you! I hated it, and you know what - THAT'S OKAY. We can still be friends. I'm not attacking YOU for liking it when I say that I didn't. Offense is taken, not given. If your feelings are hurt because I didn't like a movie that you did, I wonder what's going on in your life that makes you feel that it was an attack on you. Low self-esteem? Loneliness? If that's the case - I'll do whatever I can to help you and be your friend, but I'm not going to change my opinion on something that I feel I was fully entitled to critique the way I did. And by all means, if you're mad at me for disagreeing with you, please do us both a favor and unfriend/block/unfollow me.

[/rant]

*sigh*

Playing the glad game now. Here are some of my favorite film adaptations of musicals, most of them are not critically-acclaimed or even loved by my friends - and that's okay.

• Rent - I have never loved the stage version, so I felt (unlike most fans) that it was an improvement. I loved that they cleaned it up a bit, I loved that they stretched out the timeline of the first act, and I LOVED the new orchestrations. The stage show always felt raw and unfinished to me, which is understandable under the circumstances, but I like the finished product. And it was more emotional to me on film, as I connected with it more. (Hated that they changed the time setting, though.)
• South Pacific - Even though the funky colors didn't work for me, I loved how they took advantage of the beauty of the islands with the beautiful cinematography. I like how they changed up the order of the scenes a bit, too. Opening with Cable flying in helps you to feel as though you're arriving on the island for the first time as well. Also, SPOILER ALERT: when Cable dies, it's a little more sad, since he's the first one you identify with.
• West Side Story - Jerome Robbins and Robert Wise showed what you could really do with a movie musical. The ensemble scenes are incredible. I don't love the dubbed singing voices, but after hearing Natalie Wood's original vocals, I'm glad they did it, at least for her. And I'd rather have dubbed voices that don't totally fit what's going on than terrible singing...
• Little Shop of Horrors - I miss some of the things that were removed from the stage show, but I felt that for the medium, it worked. The musical was trying to be a B movie onstage, whereas on screen, it became a true B movie musical. It was an improvement on the original movie, for sure, and the cast was nearly perfect.
• Hairspray - I love the music in the stage show, but the plot gets a little bogged down. I like that they streamlined it a little more, and it was just so fun and infectious. I wish John Travolta and Christopher Walken would have loosened up a bit, but that's a minor issue.